Letters from Our Readers

Readers respond to Jane Bua’s Talk of the Town story about a gathering of Naomis in Prospect Park and Merve Emre’s piece on the history of advice columns.

Name Drop

Jane Bua’s Talk of the Town piece about a gathering of Naomis in Prospect Park was of particular interest to me (June 16th). I have a daughter with the name, but it was neither I nor my husband who decided on it. When I became pregnant with her, more than sixty years ago, we agreed that if I gave birth to a boy we’d name him for my husband’s late father, but finding the perfect female name wasn’t so simple. My husband liked the name Tamar, but I preferred Naomi. We were at a stalemate.

At that time, I worked for the New York Public Library, and I was preparing a radio talk about the Nobel-winning writer Isaac Bashevis Singer. He and I met for lunch one day, and Mr. Singer, taking notice of my pregnant state, inquired about the baby. I told him about the naming impasse, and how I thought Naomi was a much more sympathetic Biblical character. Mr. Singer nodded in agreement and said, “There is more than one Tamar in the Bible and there are problems with each of them. If you have a daughter, name her Naomi.”

Johanna Hurwitz
Wilmington, Vt.

Take It from Them

Merve Emre’s article on the history of advice columns points to the appeal of the form, which has remained popular as it has evolved (Books, June 23rd). I have been a syndicated and non-syndicated advice columnist for more than forty years; at one point, my column reached forty million people. My main topic has been men’s dress, and when I started my career such advice was so new that, in 1983, this magazine devoted a Talk of the Town story to a presentation of mine, “Dressing for Success,” which I delivered to a group of West Point cadets.

Those seeking my advice have often been less concerned with receiving a specific answer than with pondering, “Will this make me look foolish?” It’s somewhat analogous to the “Am I the Asshole” online discourse that Emre discusses; when people write to me expressing their opposition to wearing a suit to the office, or, just as often, to casual dress, they’re really just hoping that I’ll validate their choices.

Obviously, discussing whether a polo shirt can be worn with a tie elicits far less dissension than ethical matters, but in both cases readers are primarily interested in entertainment, not advice. The advice columnist—or the content creator—knows this, works within that realm to continue producing material, and must try to ignore whether his or her perspective significantly influences the actions of readers.

Lois Fenton
Henrico, Va.

Emre’s piece reminded me of Cookie Mueller’s advice column, “Ask Dr. Mueller,” which ran in the East Village Eye during the eighties. The image printed at the top of the column featured a blond bombshell wearing a headlight and a stethoscope. Her hair cascades in voluminous waves, she has a smoky eye, and her lips are parted, pouty. She looks like she’s about to blow you a kiss rather than offer you advice.

Indeed, the illustration perfectly captures Mueller’s complex sensibility—an attitude so postured that it can only be earnest, a performance so over the top that it becomes authentic, inspiring the same in her “patients.” In one issue, a man wrote, “When I fart I shit my pants. What can I do about it? This is serious.” Dr. Mueller’s response? “I’m really disturbed by this one. . . . Does it happen frequently? Where? In the crowded subway? On a date? My heart goes out to you. I guess the only response I can give is to not fart.”

Liz Cettina
Brooklyn, N.Y.

Letters should be sent with the writer’s name, address, and daytime phone number via e-mail to themail@newyorker.com. Letters may be edited for length and clarity, and may be published in any medium. We regret that owing to the volume of correspondence we cannot reply to every letter.